My Health Score

At work every year, we march down to the break room, where a nurse weighs us, measures us, and gives us a flu shot. Then we answer a series of questions about our health, diet and exercise. We receive a “health score” in various categories, of: Excellent, Good, Needs Improvement or Houston, we have a Problem!

With my Type A personality, I strive to receive an “Excellent” score on each topic. This year, as you know, I have cancer. Nevertheless, I got weighed and measured and answered all the questions. To the question “Do you have cancer,” I checked “yes.” What was my ranking on the cancer question? Good. HA HA HA. What do you have to do to get a score of “Houston, we have a Problem”? Apparently, you have to smoke, drink to excess, eat Ding Dongs and exercise only if somebody’s chasing you with a carving knife! Or maybe all those, plus actually have cancer.

When I told my husband this story, he said, “you answered the question incorrectly.” Say, what? “You do not have cancer. You had cancer. The doctor removed it.”